r/atheism is more than just a sub-forum. We do more than just get angry about other the ranting and bigotry of religions. We do more than stare down our noses and mock the stupidity of people for believing in an archaic, frail institution. We are more than a handful of ignorant, loose-cannons getting gratification from belittling the beliefs of our less intelligent peers. We are a support system. Until r/atheism, I was the only person I knew of who didn't believe the existence of a supreme being was logical. I was shunned in a community of christian xenophobes. Pitied as a lost sheep, who if wise enough, would return to the salvation I always needed and knew in my heart to be true. r/atheism showed me that I can live my life without shame, but rather pride. We are a change. It is no longer expected that we keep silent. We can be the voice of a distraught globe. We are the top scientists, the most acclaimed philosophers, and the average person pushing a positive influence upon the world around us. Atheists are the cure to the sickness of the outdated and oppressive naiveté of our forefathers. Most importantly, r/atheism is an idea. An idea that we can all live in peace without the hate that has plagues us from the frivolous disagreements of opposing ideology. An idea that the world can be free of the war and political turmoil brought on by ancient texts encouraging malevolence and violent actions. A belief that we can all set aside our meager differences and, through science and understanding, transform this juvenile world r/atheism is every one of us, making a difference, by tearing down these social barriers. We are the first of many, and soon, all. Be proud, we are atheists.
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So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn’t much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn’t have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $5 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, “See that man? He’s acting just like Jesus wants us to.” For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven’t shaved in awhile so I’m rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said “Like Jesus? Ma’am I’m an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all.” As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.
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I think too many women fear rape too much. I know it would be horrible, but at least you'd be alive. You can get better.
I hate seeing guys chase women. Women should be chasing us. We're the ones making the money, and have the possessions. I don't chase, have never chased and never will. Yet, women still find me attractive. Imagine that, sex isn't the most important thing in the world. Guys of the world, you need to realize that. Maybe then women will wake up and figure out that we will not cater to irrational, and illogical behavior.
I'm a 17 year old straight and atheist boy, and I don't respect woman that post nudes of themselves, I think they have no self respect and none of them have ever had a stable relationship. A couple months ago, my dad and I went to a car show in Norway, we walked past 5 beautiful girls in bikinis washing cars in about 0 degrees Celsius, and I said to my dad, ''look at those beautiful girls with no self respect, such a shame'', and I walked away. but on the flip side, I watch porn and I enjoy it -.-
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It is two in the afternoon, and I am doing much more than pressing f5 waiting for some autistic RPG playing cheeto-disposal to justify himself to me. Jesus man. Is this where you wanted to be on a friday night, wherever night is for you? I'm going to go to a hip new restaurant by a famous chef, eat for free, and write about it for my paycheck. Then I'll knock out a bottle of fancy craft beer, with the GF, bone for a second time today, and watch a few episodes of community with my best friend, and be in bed to hit the gym in the morning. I assure you, I know more about my life and there is no way to make me feel bad about it.
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Educated high school student here. Please don't get your jimmies Russell'd Because I'm not 22 and eat ramen for breakfast lunch and dinner.
All the post you see about today's high-school kids are underestimated. I really wish you all could experience today's adolescent ignorant Students I deal with every day.
The Emo gothic people who cry about life, than pull out their Ipad after school when their mom picks them up.
The douchebags, who have their Facebook profile picture as them with their shirt off and a stupid fucking look on their face.
The foreign bigots who try to be black, Tell girls to suck their dicks constantly, will never admit they are a virgin and constantly make fun of gay people. (Well every one in my high-school is a bigot almost.)
I have fucked with every single one of them. EVERY one of them at least once. They're like my cats, they hate the shit out of me put I just keep fucking with them over and over again.
It's like being in a room of crack addicted babies and throwing around a little ball of crack that's tied up in a baggy so they can't get it. As soon as I graduate I'll piss in a container. At the reunion I'll show up and spray everyone with the 20 year old piss for my amusement. But why?
Why you ask? Not because anyone has been mean to ME. Far from that my friends, rather the ignorance. The kid walking down the hall saying "Nigga" 2000 times with his/her freshman agenda in their hand. That's why you're being sprayed with piss douchebag. The gay kid you punched in the face last week for being gay. THAT'S why your being sprayed with piss. Please be a good person. I'll take my downvotes now.
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I have never cared less about anything than I do about this comment. In fact, my apathy is so great towards it, that while reading it I felt a hole in my chest, as if reading this dumb shit created a black hole of not giving a shit inside me that was starting to consume my entire body. I thought I should tell you this because I am worried that maybe this black hole of who-gives-a-fuck-about-your-irrelevant-life might not stop at swallowing my body, but may indeed consume the entire earth (maybe even the universe). The world as we know it will change, and people will be reduced to unemotional robots, not giving any shits anywhere they go. The upside to this, of course, is that you probably won't post dumb ass comments like this anymore after this happens.
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What the skunk did you just skunking say, you little porcupine? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Violet Otters, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Glory-holes, and I have consumed over 300 cumshots! I am a gorilla and I'm the top cocksucker in the entire US. You are nothing to me but just another cumshot. I will wipe you on my cheek with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my skunking words. You think you can get away with saying that possum to me over the potatonet? Think again, skunker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of potato bakers across the USA and your PP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, heterosexual. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your next wad. You're skunking drained, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can drain your balls in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare face. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed cocksucking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States girl scouts and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable wad off the face of your scrotum, you little porcupine. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your skunking wad. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn genius. I will suck out fury all over my face and I will drown in it. You're skunking drained, kiddo.
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What the fuck did you just fucking post, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with posting that sick shit over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “edgy” post was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, sick fuck.
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I think Americans are simply superior to non-Americans, not genetically but as in culturally. Its pretty obvious when you consider that we completely dominate almost all fields of achievement, from the Nobel Prizes to the Olympic games. Almost all the greatest universities are in the US, we dominate science and technology and our economic output is unrivalled.
We simply have a winning state of mind that no other country has achieved yet, although they are moving in that direction. For example, the rest of the world accepts ties in their sports, we don't. When we do something, its to be the best or nothing. We have that Alpha Male mentality, the one everybody hates out of envy, we just laugh at them from the top of the hill because we know that ultimately we have conquered the world and beat every other country in practically every contest. Sports, entertinament, economy, military, science...America rules in all fields of civilization.
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TOLD STATUS:
[ ] NOT TOLD
[ ] TOLD
[ ] FUCKING TOLD
[ ] TOLD LIKE THE FIST OF THE TOLD STAR
[ ] THE CHRONICLES OF TOLDIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE TOLDROBE
[ ] TOLDENEYE 64
[ ] AVATOLD: THE LAST TOLDBENDER
[ ] THE 40 YEAR TOLD VIRGIN
[ ] FRUIT TOLD-UP
[ ] TEXAS TOLD'EM POKER
[ ] BLACKBERRY TOLD
[ ] TOLD NAVY
[ ] STONE TOLD STEVE AUSTIN
[ ] TOLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM
[ ] CASH4TOLD.COM
[ ] TOLDERONE
[ ] PTERODACTOLD
[ ] CURE FOR THE COMMON TOLD
[ ] TOLDTINO'S PIZZA ROLLS
[ ] TOLDPLAY
[ ] TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TOLDLES
[ ] BATTLETOLDS
[ ] AUSTIN POWERS TOLDMEMBER
[ ] UNREAL TOLDAMENT
[ ] NO COUNTRY FOR TOLD MEN
[ ] http//:www.youtold.com
[ ] Toldsmobile
[ ] The Ecstasy of Told
[ ] Knights of the Told Republic
[ ] Told Fusion
[ ] Batman: The Brave and the Told
[ ] Toldasaurus Rex
[X] All of the above
---
Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
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There once was a girl i was interested in. She was hot, smart, and rather funny. Things were going great for a good while, until the dark ages of FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU took over. She discovered these things called "Rage comics" and "Me-mes". She slowly became obsessed. By the time I had realized what was happening, she was already Le-ing all over the damn place. It was a sad, sad day when I heard her utter her first Me Gusta. It was the beginning of the end. We only lasted about 3 weeks after that, when she became completely engulfed. She now spends her days reposting 9gag material on her twitter. I kinda miss her sometimes, but then I hear her say Le in person. Oh well, thank you for reading the tale of how memes ruined my relationship.
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I don't give a fuck who you are our where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain It'll make Jesus being nailed to the cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn the gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the fuck out. Your blood pressure will triple and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for a heart operation and the last thing you'll see when they're putting you under in the operating room is me hovering over you dressed as a doctor. When you wake up after the operation you'll be scared for your fucking life wondering what I did to you while you where being operated on and wondering if there is a ticking time bomb in you chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery and when you walk out of the front door of the hospital to go home I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just wanted you to know how easily I could have destroyed your pathetic fucking excuse for a life, but how I would rather go to great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either. I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you you again my fucking self. Welcome to hell, population: you.
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I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH
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I thought I told you stupid retards to leave? Why haven't you? Do you WANT FGG to turn to shit? This is EXACTLY what you're doing right now and I'm honestly pretty fucking sick of this shit. Get a fucking job and stop shitting up this place. It's bad enough as it is without you stupid morons discussing something that is clearly not fighting games. This is a fighting game general you see, what you're posting is /b/ related. Guess what? /b/ actually exists! How about you go there before I report every single one of you fucking douche bags. Oh wait, too late. Reported all of you for blatant lack of fighting discussion in a FGG. Just fuck off. Stop being such huge pathetic losers and fuck off for once. Nobody wants this shit on here. All you're doing is piling on more shit on the shitwagon that is FGG. And before you say BUT FGG IS NEVER FIGHTAN RELATED ANYWAY HURP DURP, you need to fucking realize that you're making it worse. If you don't want FGG to suck balls then stop what you're doing RIGHT now. All I feel like doing right now is putting my hand through the screen and ripping your fucking dicks off from your computer screen while shoving it down your neck. Don't worry, you'll live the taste of cock you homosexual pieces of shit. Can I ask you something? Why are you so determined to shit up FGG? What do you gain from it? Do you just turn on your computer after masturbating to your weeaboo comics and just decide to go on FGG and fuck it up with this retarded bullshit? Fuck off. Just die. I'm actually fucking serious here. It isn't some empty insult. I actually want you morons to just suffer and DIE. It's the only way to stop this retard infestation we got on FGG right now.
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 H ＥＬＬＯ ＡＭ ４８ ＹＥＡＲ ＭＡＮ ＦＲＯＭ ＳＯＭＡＬＩＡ． ＳＯＲＲＹ ＦＯＲ ＢＡＤ ＥＮＧＬＡＮＤ． Ｉ ＳＥＬＬＥＤ ＭＹ ＷＩＦＥ ＦＯＲ ＩＮＴＥＲＮＥＴ ＣＯＮＮＥＣＴＩＯＮ ＦＯＲ ＰＬＡＹ ＂ｈｅａｒｔｈ ｓｔｏｎｅ＂ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＷＡＮＴ ＴＯ ＢＥＣＯＭＥ ＴＨＥ ＧＯＯＤＥＳＴ ＰＬＡＹＥＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹO U
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Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8
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So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..."
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ᴴᵉᶫᶫᵒ, ᶦᵗ ᶦˢ ᵐᵉ ᴰᵒᶰᵍᵉʳᶦᶰᵒ ᴹᵃᶜᵃʳᵒᶰᶦ, ᴾʳᵉˢᶦᵈᵉᶰᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᴾᵃˢᵗᵃ ᴵᶰᵈᵘˢᵗʳᶦᵉˢ⋅ ᵂᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʳᵉᶜᵉᶦᵛᵉᵈ ᵐᵃᶰʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᶫᵃᶦᶰᵗˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶜᵏ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵃ ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵗˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ⋅ ᴬˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵖᵒᶰˢᵒʳ, ʷᵉ ˢᵘᵍᵍᵉˢᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵘᵖᵖᶫʸ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵐᵒʳᵉ 's ᵒʳ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽'s ᵗᵒ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᵘᵖ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃᶰʸ ˢᵗᵃᶰᵈᵃʳᵈˢ⋅ ᵀʰᵃᶰᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ⋅
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What the fuck did you just fucking call a crow, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Corvidae Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous research trips on crows, and I have counted over 300 birds on them. I am trained in avian warfare and I’m the top biologist in all of reddit. You are nothing to me but just another redditor. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this website, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with calling a jackdaw a crow on the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of crows across the USA and your profile is being traced right now so you better prepare for the downvotes, maggot. The brigade that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your karma. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can downvote you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my 5 alternate accounts. Not only am I extensively trained in biology, but I have access to the entire gold reserves of reddit and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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We sit out to eat, and the potato's a bit hot, so I only put a little bit on my fork and I blow. Blows twice, til it's cool, just cool, then into the mouth, clicks tongue, Nice. And there's my brother, he's doing the same. Blows twice ,til it's cool, just cool, into the mouth, clicks tongue, Nice. There's my Mum, she's doing the same. Blows twice, til it's cool, just cool, into the mouth, clicks tongue, Nice. But my Dad, my Dad what does he do; He stuffs a great big chunk of potato into his mouth and then that really does it. His eyes pop out, he flaps his hands, he blows, he puffs, he yells, he bobs his head up and down, he spits bits of potato all over his plate, and he turns to us and he goes, "Watch out everybody, the potato is really hot".in exclamation
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:unamused: < Hello...
As you can see I am an emoji...
A "meh", to be exact...
Anywho...
It's my pleasure to announce our first movie...
yay...
It's almost too thrilling for words...
So bring the family...
...
Doesn't have to be your family...
The Emoji Movie...
:musical_note: EXPRESS YA SELF :musical_note:
:icecream: < So I told management, "I can't work like this!" These lights! I'm meltin' in here! This is such a loada...
pan over to poop emoji
:icecream: < uhhh...
:poop: < No, go ahead... finish that sentence.
:unamused: < I'm positively euphoric right now...
:musical_note: EXPRESS YA SELF :musical_note:
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I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.