[initiating transmission....................GOOD]
[encoding text to speech....................GOOD]
[translating message to Common..............GOOD]
[displaying text............................GOOD]

Hello? Is this thing on? I suppose it is. That's good to know.

Well, hello, I'm Craig Kennedy, First Liutenant (soon to be Captain!) 
Technology Class aboard the Star Destroyer Lovell. I help run the technology 
around here for the crew, and stay out of trouble. That's my job, and it's what 
I'm commissioned for. I'd say I love the job, but...

The crew are massive idiots. They can't tell a laser flexatron from a laser 
printer, they can't tell a flux capacitor from a flexiband reciever, and they 
should absolutely not be in charge of a star destroyer.

And yet here they are, and here I am. But why am I here, you may ask? It's 
actually an interesting story.

I found this thing in the back of the storage room. We've since moved on from 
QEC communication in favor of more discreet methods of communicating, but this 
ship was still equipped with a QEC device, despite never using it. So, knowing 
that nobody else would be reading this, I decided to just use this 
as an opportunity to vent. Let me tell you about my lovable gang of idiots.

First, there's the Colonel. He's a really nice man, but he really doesn't get 
technology. I almost constantly have to "fix" his communicator when he forgets 
to open the antenna, or when he hits the "mute" button and suddenly can't talk 
to anybody. Out of all of the gang, he's the most forgivable. After all, he's 
52. He's also super forgiving when I make mistakes, and is probably 65% of the 
reason I'm still on the Lovell to begin with.

But then there's the Lieutenant Colonel. He's a massive, how do I put this?

Douchebag. Let's go with douchebag. He's as bad with technology as the good 
Colonel, but he's so much more of a jerk about it. Every time I have to fix his 
shit, he complains about how slowly I'm doing it, how I'm such a nerd for 
knowing the ins and outs of the equipment (despite the fact that it's literally 
my job), and how he'd have already fixed it by the time I got done (unlikely, 
since he'd just mess it up even worse, making me have to fix it, giving him 
more time to complain, so on and so forth).

And then there's the Privates. Most of them are as green as green can be, but 
at least they know how technology works. Usually, if it's a Private coming to 
my group for help, they've already done the basics, like turning it off and on 
again.

They're quick learners. I like them.

Those who I'm not mentioning? Just assume they're as dumb as boxes of rocks- 
actually, don't. That's an insult to boxes of rocks. The fact that this group 
can somehow keep a Star Destroyer in space is something that constantly amazes 
me.

For instance, the Seargant had the Privates run a battle drill for defending 
the bridge. Instead of using the battle simulator our government paid millions 
of credits on, the fucking dumbass runs the drill on the actual bridge. Let's 
just say that explosives and a chokepoint that most of the people on the ship 
have to go through to get to work don't mix.

I had to space parkour to get to work today.

Even though they're all either stupid or green, I love my gang of idiots. I
just wish they'd learn something instead of running to me every time something
has a small issue.

Wait- I hear my boss coming down the hall. I'll talk to you later!

...maybe it's my promotion...

[ending transmission........................GOOD]
