2020-11-02 00:00:02 +00:00
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Message Incoming...
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Source Melchizedek.0294
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β Hyi, 3rd Planet
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Ascension 00h 25m 45.07037s
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Declination –77° 15′ 15.2860″
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Distance 24.37ly
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Equinox J2000.0 SOL
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Year 3782, QEC adjusted
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[Autotranslator enabled...]
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Eva Hämäläinen, Navigator
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:::
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When I was a girl I had a small horse, Sunna. She was a pony's
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size, but she was a horse, mind you. She didn't like it when Mamma
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called her a pony. Sunna liked to be messy. I would brush her for
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hours, use the hose and get every bit of grime away. I'd clean her
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hooves or change her shoes. Then she would go straight to the mud.
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It happened every time. You'd think I would learn a lesson there.
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Momma would ask, "why do you clean that pony?" And I would say to
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her, "Sunna is a horse, Momma. She likes to be cleaned, but she
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likes to be messy too." And then I would go out to her and do it
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again. If the day were dry and there was no mud Sunna would roll
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in the dirt and lie there looking at me with eyes like wells. She
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would lie there and just watch me until I turned that hose on and
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made her mud. Then she would roll and make sweet sounds.
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When Stephanie came to me after she read the report of the
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captain's shuttle her eyes were wells. I had no hose, so I gave
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her my tears and together we rolled in the mud and made sweet
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sounds. It was a line I thought not to cross with an NCO despite
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what I knew we both felt. Our mission. I know this in my mind, but
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my heart is soft for those I love. I will wash the horse that will
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roll in the mud because I can't deny her. I cannot deny this love
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either.
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I wish it were joy that broke my oath and not grief. But Jerome
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would tell me, "If wishes were horses." I don't know what it
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means, except that it makes me think of Sunna more and that gives
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me solace. The right thing is not always what you expect. Inside,
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though, you can feel it. Does this thing bring you closer to God?
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Does this act bring your life? God can work through grief as well
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as joy. He can work through a messy horse and he can certainly
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work through an extraordinary creature such as my Stephanie.
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I will submit myself for disciplinary action. It is also right.
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The rules were broken and I will not deny that. The Serif will do
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what she must, and I will be who I must. There can be no denying
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of self. This is a tenet.
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2020-11-05 00:00:02 +00:00
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