backup

gopher/Trobairitz/parting-the-veil-01.txt

@@ -33,8 +33,47 @@ Everything smelled of fish and salt and dirty engines. And peace,
 thought Sinda.
 
 When finally the boat reached its destination she was the first
-away, her silk-weave pack hanging loosely over one shoulder.
+away, her silk-weave pack hanging loosely over one shoulder. With
+a graceful hop she was ashore and striding confidently along the
+pier. Waves of sound lapped at her from ahead bearing hints of
+a festival and the laughing of children. Then directly ahead were
+the tiny faces painted in colors and patterns like flowers and
+animals mimicking those creatures in their play. A young one of
+perhaps eight or nine darted around her from behind and shot off
+in a weave through the crowd entering their holiday like buzzing
+bees. The girl, or perhaps a boy, lept long to avoid a puddle
+where the pier met the solid ground and continued onward up the
+cobblestones to a majestic fountain of dark stone and brilliant
+blue water. There they boy, for his voice gave him away, chortled
+a string of insults to turn the sailor's heads, and a rush of
+children started after him in chase. The screams of delight
+followed the mob into the distance, through a painted gate with
+ornate masks hanging en masse before their cries were lost in the
+sound of music, shouting, and the ringing chimes of games.
 
+Sinda felt the smile breaking across her face and shook her head
+with relief. A festival was in full bloom and she was just in time
+to see it all. A moment later she had reached the fountain herself
+and peered up into the shining sun with a squint to see the
+towering stone figure of the sea god wrestling with a tentacled
+beast. Poseidon, perhaps?
+
+A bird perched atop the mythic statue, pecking lightly at his
+crown, then taking flight in a great swoop down toward Sinda
+
+
+***
+
+- Event: Sinda arrives in Ausix and is overwhelmed and nervous.
+- Function: Introduces Sinda & the town. Reveals her background as
+  a parts designer for an engineering consultancy. Demonstrates the
+  town as a peaceful place of relaxation and harmony. Sets up the
+  impact for its later destruction.
+- Beginning: Ferry comes into town, carnival atmosphere
+- Middle: Con game / test your luck. A loss, but friendly and with
+  directions to follow. Lesson in illusions.
+- End: Guide to the cottage.
+- Pulse: Excitement and freedom at being on her own
 
 Carnival atmosphere, food trucks, tossing hovering rings, trained
 birds.
@@ -51,12 +90,49 @@ Children run past, use their movement to describe the town. Kites,
 drying hooks out windows, animals for transport. A rare sight of
 a Leva, vintage model, probably for a collector.
 
+Stops at a café and eats a pocket of something hot on the steps
+outside. Sees the gaming and wanders over. She's drawn into the
+coin game, bets and loses her money. Shocked from her relaxation
+and given a moment of panic and fear. Scene Turn.
+
+The coin main watches her cry and offers to take her where she's
+going. The sting comes out of the con and he talks about illusion.
+Leads her up the road into the hills and says goodbye at the
+cottage road.
+
+***
+
+
+
+***
+
+- Event: Sinda finds Borzin in the cottage and friendship is
+  rekindled.
+- Function: Introduces Borzin and his "cheater" mentality.
+  Establishes the long friendship is still strong.
+- Beginning: Finds Borzin already at the cottage.
+- Middle:
+- End: Talking late into the night.
+- Pulse: A nervous anticipation. Will they still be friends?
+
 Arrives at the cottage, a tiny affair, where Borzin has already
 arrived. He took the attic bunk and left her the wall-bed.
 
 Dialogue!!! What do they sound like? Talk about Sinda's job, and
 Borzin's mom and his dog. Fade-out into narration...
 
+***
+
+
+***
+
+- Event:
+- Function:
+- Beginning:
+- Middle:
+- End:
+- Pulse:
+
 They set out on their hike the next morning with dawn and sing
 a rhyming song from school (will we write one verse?).
 
@@ -80,12 +156,26 @@ she'll come back the other way.
 
 Great crackling of ozone and a peel of thunder (lightning storm in
 the middle of the day? it was clear). Sinda comes out the other
-side and the pass is transformed. The mountains on either side are
-pyramids, grandiose and of pure alabaster. Moreover, great
-shimmering fields project from turrets around the sides and Sinda
-can feel their vibrations like a slow heartbeat against hers. It's
-uncomfortable and makes her want to go away.
+side and the pass is transformed.
 
+***
+
+
+
+***
+
+- Event:
+- Function:
+- Beginning:
+- Middle:
+- End:
+- Pulse:
+
+The mountains on either side are pyramids, grandiose and of pure
+alabaster. Moreover, great shimmering fields project from turrets
+around the sides and Sinda can feel their vibrations like a slow
+heartbeat against hers. It's uncomfortable and makes her want to
+go away.
 
 Somehow they decide to go further and explore
 
@@ -95,9 +185,24 @@ Space distorts as they approach and the structure expands to
 a tower with many faces and then to a long hallway as the
 dimensionality shifts. Have fun with it.
 
+***
+
+
+
+***
+
+- Event:
+- Function:
+- Beginning:
+- Middle:
+- End:
+- Pulse:
+
 Eventually the Jinn burn Ausix to keep their location secret.
 Sinda and Borzin witness everything from atop the elvish citadel.
 They see the fires and the ships taking to the skies. The citadel
 itself begins to break apart and segments take off. They see and
 are seen by a Jinn woman, but she is in a hurry and they escape.
 
+***
+