81 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
Message Incoming...
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Source Melchizedek.0294
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Approach β Hyi
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Ascension 00h 25m 45.07036s
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Declination –77° 15′ 15.2860″
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Distance 24.33ly
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Equinox J2000.0 SOL
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Year 3781, QEC adjusted
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[Autotranslator enabled...]
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Stephanie Janssen, Specialist First-class
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:::
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Ho ho ho! It's Christmas out here on the floating tin-can and I'm
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brewing up some cheer for the crew. In fact, I've brewed up
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something much stronger than cheer that's almost certainly against
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regulations, but hell! we need it.
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The darkness was getting to everyone, so I conspired with Eva and
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we made a still. How cool is that? The instructions were in the DB
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and we had the parts on hand. The doc's been fermenting the weird
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greens since we woke up. We're not supposed to eat them, yet, but
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he wants to be ready if they're cleared. So we used a similar
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principle and a bunch of piping and bam! Grade C 180 proof
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Melchizedek swill. You can TASTE the Christmas cheer!
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Eva and I are testing it out tonight on our own. Christmas is
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a few cycles off still and we want to surprise the rest of them.
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Jerome is gonna flip!
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I LOVE CAKE!
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OMG, that was Eva! Sorry. She grabbed the pad. She's had A. LOT.
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I did say we needed it.
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Things are, frankly, shitty. We're living in a meat locker in near
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total darkness with a bunch of popsicle friends. I'm the lowest
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ranking crew awake and the only NCO. I'm not even supposed to take
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meals with the rest of them, if we had regular meals. Eva is
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great, though, and we've been making the best of it. You guys
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can't see her, but she's gorgeous. She's got these giant eyes like
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a drawing and a tiny little nose you want to boop. OH! I'm gonna
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boop her, one sec. YESS--she squeeks when you boop. Eva's the
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best!
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Um, status-updates: ship's fucked up, we're fucked up, plants are
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turning into zombies or something, Jerome is morbid fucker, Eva's
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my boo, Doc is doc, Prezzi doesn't take any shite. Fixed up the
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steering but we're still going way too fast. Can't slow down
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without getting bug squished from the Gs. Jerome says we'll make
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it, but he does funny math. Eva gets all serious when she talks
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about it. Not, like, poetic serious--that shit's cool. I don't
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think she believes him. Prezzi's too busy with the fungus crap to
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call him on it, and who else is there? Not gonna be me!
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So we need a little Christmas! Right this very minute! You know
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the song? Is it still playing round the verse or are we the last
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holdouts? I saw a note from Excelsior that they still celebrate
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Christmas. That's something! They're putting up lights around
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their servers. Bloody brilliant, that! Eva looked around and we
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found some green LEDs and quantum resonance diode cells that make
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a faint purple. It's traditionally supposed to be green and red,
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right? Too bad red LEDs were banned after the 4th great robot
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uprising. I can't believe it took everyone that long to figure out
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they can't go evil if they don't have red LEDs for eyes. Stupid
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fucking people. We really deserve to be out here in the shit,
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don't we?
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Three more months! Or that's what Jerome says.
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Oh shit shit shit shit shit. He can read this. Fuck. Me.
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Oh fuck it. Someone had to tell him all this to his face at some
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point. At least I can blame it on alcohol. It's a Christmas
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fucking miracle.
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Peace, Universe. I hope Santa brings you some cake. We fucking
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love cake.
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.
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