101 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
Message Incoming...
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Source Melchizedek.0294
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Exiting Sol
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Ascension 00h 25m 45.07036s
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Declination –77° 15′ 15.2860″
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Distance 0.01ly
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Equinox J2000.0 SOL
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Year 2183, QEC adjusted
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[Autotranslator enabled...]
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[Personal Log Entry]
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Jerome Somerset Pasani, Warrant Master
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:::
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Hi mom,
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This is really happening. I've been on the long-haul transport
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racket for nearly a decade but nothing could come close to what
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we're about to do. We're all trained as well as we can be and
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they've stacked this bucket full of geniuses. I told you Moussa is
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coming with us too. It'll be great to have a friend along, to know
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someone on the other side of all this.
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I just can't believe I'm actually saying goodbye. It feels unreal,
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like it's happening to another person. We're no further away than
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I've been before but once we kick on the grav and slip into those
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coffins that's it. You, dad, Lisa... I knew I'd never see you
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again, you'd never see me again. We talked about it, you know
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I believe in this work, that it's worth it. It's worth my life,
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all of our lives. It's worth a planet and more because we're
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saving life itself. But I can't lie, I hate it too.
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Dad was a true stoic at dinner. I know you were embarrassed by
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what happened, but I don't blame you. I wish dad acted more like
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you. I was a blubbery mess last night when I got home and I sat in
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the oxygenator for ten minutes this morning to get rid of the bags
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under my eyes before coming aboard. I'm just going to miss you all
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so much. The words don't do it. I love you. I love you all so
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much.
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I don't want you to mourn, please. I know what dad said, but it's
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not like that. I'm not gone, I'm just far away. Your son will live
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far, far into the future and you can always feel good knowing I'm
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out there somewhere doing what's needed. When your days are up and
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you're ready to move on I'll be out there still. You can take some
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solace in that and never have to worry or fear. When I wake up
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I'll do my duty. Each and every day I will wake up and thank God
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for such a wonderful family and such caring, loving parents. Yes,
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loving. I don't care what we went through or argued about growing
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up. I'll thank God for you every day, I swear. I'll go on and live
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my life and do everything I can to keep on living, to keep life
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going across the galaxy.
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We're agents of the almighty, right? That's what you taught Lisa
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and me in Sunday school. We're little temples that move, holy
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islands acting as agents for God. Well your holy agent is doing
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his best and he will continue.
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Don't mourn, please. I'll be sleeping for a while, that's all. And
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when we wake up I'll make you so proud of me. I have to. This has
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to be worth the cost.
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Oh mom, how can I do this to you?
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You've been through so much.
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I have to do it, but you never volunteered. How can I take that
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pain away? Even this best of actions is causing you pain. How can
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I come to grips with it? How can that be justified? We've got
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a Seriph on board. Maybe I'll ask her. Or maybe not. She's likely
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to slap me for being too emotional or something.
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Oh I wish you could have met everyone before we set out. Maybe
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that would have made it easier, knowing them, knowing I won't be
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totally alone. But then, what am I leaving you with.
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If dad isn't there for you then please call Lisa. She'll talk to
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you and you can help each other. She knows about this work, she
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can even explain how we do what we do. It's not all machines and
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computers, I swear. It's microbes and onions and human hearts.
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It's all the good of God wrapped up in a bottle we're flinging at
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the stars. Isn't that beautiful?
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Please, Mom. Don't grieve.
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I really hope this letter doesn't make things worse. I just want
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you to... I don't know. I want to take the sadness away and fill
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you with hope and joy and pleasure knowing that I'm doing what I'm
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called to do. But maybe that's not something I can just tell you
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and have it work. It took me such a long time to understand this
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calling in myself, how can I expect you to get it from a letter
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while you're dealing with the loss of a son.
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This is too much for today, I think. I'll set it aside for a bit
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and send it later. Maybe I can get the QEC to relay it when the
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time is right and you've had a bit of time to heal.
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I love you, Mom. And Dad too. Give my best to Lisa and tell her
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I'm counting on her. She better take good care of you two.
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.
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