72 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
[initiating transmission....................GOOD]
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[encoding text to speech....................GOOD]
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[translating message to Common..............GOOD]
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[displaying text............................GOOD]
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Hello? Is this thing on? I suppose it is. That's good to know.
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Well, hello, I'm Craig Kennedy, First Liutenant (soon to be Captain!)
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Technology Class aboard the Star Destroyer Lovell. I help run the technology
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around here for the crew, and stay out of trouble. That's my job, and it's what
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I'm commissioned for. I'd say I love the job, but...
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The crew are massive idiots. They can't tell a laser flexatron from a laser
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printer, they can't tell a flux capacitor from a flexiband reciever, and they
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should absolutely not be in charge of a star destroyer.
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And yet here they are, and here I am. But why am I here, you may ask? It's
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actually an interesting story.
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I found this thing in the back of the storage room. We've since moved on from
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QEC communication in favor of more discreet methods of communicating, but this
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ship was still equipped with a QEC device, despite never using it. So, knowing
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that nobody else would be reading this, I decided to just use this
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as an opportunity to vent. Let me tell you about my lovable gang of idiots.
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First, there's the Colonel. He's a really nice man, but he really doesn't get
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technology. I almost constantly have to "fix" his communicator when he forgets
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to open the antenna, or when he hits the "mute" button and suddenly can't talk
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to anybody. Out of all of the gang, he's the most forgivable. After all, he's
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52. He's also super forgiving when I make mistakes, and is probably 65% of the
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reason I'm still on the Lovell to begin with.
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But then there's the Lieutenant Colonel. He's a massive, how do I put this?
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Douchebag. Let's go with douchebag. He's as bad with technology as the good
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Colonel, but he's so much more of a jerk about it. Every time I have to fix his
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shit, he complains about how slowly I'm doing it, how I'm such a nerd for
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knowing the ins and outs of the equipment (despite the fact that it's literally
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my job), and how he'd have already fixed it by the time I got done (unlikely,
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since he'd just mess it up even worse, making me have to fix it, giving him
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more time to complain, so on and so forth).
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And then there's the Privates. Most of them are as green as green can be, but
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at least they know how technology works. Usually, if it's a Private coming to
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my group for help, they've already done the basics, like turning it off and on
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again.
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They're quick learners. I like them.
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Those who I'm not mentioning? Just assume they're as dumb as boxes of rocks-
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actually, don't. That's an insult to boxes of rocks. The fact that this group
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can somehow keep a Star Destroyer in space is something that constantly amazes
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me.
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For instance, the Seargant had the Privates run a battle drill for defending
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the bridge. Instead of using the battle simulator our government paid millions
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of credits on, the fucking dumbass runs the drill on the actual bridge. Let's
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just say that explosives and a chokepoint that most of the people on the ship
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have to go through to get to work don't mix.
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I had to space parkour to get to work today.
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Even though they're all either stupid or green, I love my gang of idiots. I
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just wish they'd learn something instead of running to me every time something
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has a small issue.
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Wait- I hear my boss coming down the hall. I'll talk to you later!
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...maybe it's my promotion...
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[ending transmission........................GOOD]
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