39 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
39 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
# 1: a new page in my journal
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The first entry is always the hardest. The anxiety over staining the
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first page, stealing its virginity only to mess up, blot three words out,
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the entire page becoming one big scribbled mess. You cry in frustration,
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in remorse, balled up on the floor.
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A computer might alleviate some of these symptoms, but the anxiety still
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remains. I sit here, perched on my stool as if I were shifted and pecking
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all of the keys on the keyboard right now, and I look at the blank screen
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in front of me, and I wait. I hesitate. If the first entry isn't perfect,
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then who will excuse the inevitable mediocrity of the second? The third? I
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can't keep up this perfectionist act forever.
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But now that I think about it, not even the best actor can keep up an
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act forever.
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Outside of the window in the captain's quarters, in the pine tree towering
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overhead, are these two birds with red heads and gray bodies flitting
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about in mating. Hummingbirds, I think, from their fast and delicate moves,
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but Father never taught me to properly identify birds other than myself.
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Father...
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Today we're stopped in Iawei in Sector Two for a package pickup. The ocean
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roars not too far from here. Most of this blasted planet is covered in
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ocean, just little crags of islands here and there to break up the blue
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monotony. It used to be like Earth, some say, but the ice caps were
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*gigantic*, and they melted hundreds upon hundreds of years ago and
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flooded all but the highest peaks. Mountains became poor imitations of
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tropical islands. Not much grows in the craggy soil. Not that it matters,
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since most of the former inhabitants either drowned in the flood or packed
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up their riches and fled to other planets in the Orchidia System. Seffie
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and I will only be here for a few more hours, and then we're off to Vuebos
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to deliver whatever the heck he's picking up this time.
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And I *swear*, if it's another assassin, *I'm* going to be the one doing
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the hurting.
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