"Take a penny, leave a penny" jar  
"The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism" by Emmanuel Goldstein
99 bottles of beer are on a wall here
A "Get Out of Jail Free" card
A 100 meter long chain of jumbo paper clips
A 256 kilobyte write-only memory chip
A 540Hz tuning fork
A Gregorian date palm, its fronds gently waving
A Mentos wrapper
A Sanrio catalog
A Scooby Snack! Yay
A Swiss-Army knife. All of its appendages are out. (toothpick lost)
A Texas Instruments of Destruction calculator
A baboon with a bassoon 
A baby catapult with a little pile of pebbles
A badly dented high-hat cymbal 
A ball of yarn
A big bass drum bearing a hole and suspicious clawmarks
A big chunk of frozen chocolate pudding
A bit of luck
A blank deposit slip
A bobolink 
A book with "Don't Panic" in large friendly letters across the cover
A bottle of ammonia
A bottle of distilled water
A bottle of hair tonic
A bottle of oil! Refreshing
A bottle of smelling salts
A bowl of cherries
A bowling ball with the name "Bob" inscribed on it
A box of brand-new nixie tubes
A box of dancing mechanical pencils. They dance! They sing
A brain cell. Oddly enough, it seems to be functioning
A breadbox that's bigger than a breadbox
A briefcase filled with spy stuff
A broken metronome sits here, its needle off to one side
A brown glass vial labeled "tincture of iodine"
A caboodle
A camera obscura
A canister of pressurized whipped cream, sans whipped cream
A cardboard box of sheet metal screws
A chain hanging from two posts 
A clay pot with grass growing it in sits here
A claymore mine
A cluster of cattails 
A coat hanger hovering in thin air. Odd
A cockatoo shrieking
A compendium of haiku about metals
A coupon for one free steak-fish at your local family diner
A crouton
A crowd of people, and at the center, a popular misconception
A cyclops glowering angrily at you
A dangly thing
A dark-emitting diode
A dead battery
A dead click beetle
A digital clock. It's stuck at 2:17 PM
A discarded bagpipe chanter reed
A discarded pop bottle
A discarded refrigerator in a discarded refrigerator box
A discredited cosmology, relic of a bygone era
A dodecahedron 
A dog dressed in a cheap suit 
A dogcow moofing at you
A failing unit test
A family of integrals integrating
A featureless black monolith
A five-horned rhinoceros beetle with rings on every other horn
A flask of hydrochloric acid 
A flyer advertising a big sale on flyers
A flyer reads, "Please donate hydraulic fluid
A forgotten telephone switchboard operator
A forgotten telephone switchboard
A freshly-baked pumpkin pie
A frosted pink party-cake, half eaten
A gecko clinging to a ceiling tile
A geyser 
A giant mechanical octopus spewing flames from its tentacles
A glorious fan of peacock feathers
A gold-dipped rose
A gravestone stands here. "Izchak Miller, ascended."
A green yo-yo
A grin
A haircut and a real job. 
A hairless rat
A half empty milk carton. Or is it half full
A half-eaten cheese sandwich
A hammock stretched between a tree and a volleyball pole
A hedgehog. It looks like it knows something important
A crashed helicopter 
A herd of wild coffee mugs slumbering 
A hickory stump
A historical marker showing the actual location of /dev/null
A hollow voice saying "Fool!
A hollow voice saying "Plugh.
A homemade Tesla coil, fully charged
A hovercraft full of eels is parked here
A huge pile of pancakes
A jar of Vegemite 
A jar of dehydrated water
A jar of lemon curd
A jar of library paste
A ketchup bottle (nearly empty)
A large Turkish rug, worn threadbare by years of pacing
A large block of dry ice
A large blue eye floating
A large coil of rope is here
A large pile of rubber bands
A large snake
A largish bath towel
A leather pouch filled with multisided dice
A little glass tub of Carmex. ($.89)
A little teapot, short and stout
A livery stable! Get your livery
A lone, forgotten comma, sits here, sobbing
A lotus. 
A magic switch
A magical... magic thing
A marijuana brownie
A mason jar lies here open. Its label reads: "do not open!"
A meat-scented air-freshener on a string dances in the breeze
A mere collection of pixels
A model of a twin-hulled sailboat
A naked singularity. You avert your eyes
A neat pile of plastic irrigation pipe
A nondescript box of crackers
A noun and a boat bound to the wrong verb
A number of short theatrical productions indexed 1, 2, 3, ... n
A packet of catnip
A packet of pipe cleaners
A pair of combat boots
A pair of saloon-style doors swing slowly back and forth here
A pangolin
A parade of ants crosses your path
A parrot, kipping on its back
A passing tiger tells you a terrible tale
A patch from the Mammoth Caves
A patch of grape jelly grows here
A patch of mushrooms grows here
A pile of blood-red maple leaves. You do not have time to count them
A pile of coaxial plumbing lies here
A pile of coconuts
A pile of discarded "no dumping" signs
A pile of irrigation valves
A pirate joke
A pirate
A pizza, melting in the sun
A plush Chewbacca
A post hole digger is stuck in a pile of dirt here
A puddle of chocolate sauce
A puddle of mud, where the mudskippers play
A puddle of purple semi-gloss latex paint
A punch bowl, filled with punch and lemon slices
A radio hisses away
A rancid corn dog
A river of liquid nitrogen flows through here
A robot comedian 
A roll of duct tape
A roll of scratch-and-sniff stickers
A rusted safety pin
A rusted telephone booth
A rusty crowbar
A rusty melon-baller
A rusty slinky. It was such a wonderful toy
A sack of doorknobs
A sack of hammers
A sack of wet mice
A single salmon
A saucer of milk
A scratching-post
A screwdriver
A sealed tin bearing only the word "yummy"
A section of glowing phosphor cells 
A set of keys to a 2001 Rolls Royce. Worthless
A sheep and a lamp, lounging beneath a myrtle tree
A sign reads "Don't step on the Mome Raths"
A sign reads: "Go home!
A sign reads: "Ignore this sign!
A sign reads: "No robots allowed!
A signpost saying "TO KITTEN". It points in no particular direction
A singing frog. Useless
A six-wheeled robot, lifeless, stuck in the dirt
A slightly-used smellovision set
A small box of fishing weights
A small, featureless, white cube
A smoking branding iron shaped like a 24-pin connector
A spindle, and a grindle, and a bucka-wacka-woom
A spiral-bound copy of the Necronomicon
A squirrel contentedly gnawing on a sprinkler head
A stack of 7 inch floppies wobbling precariously
A statue of a girl holding a goose like the one in Gottingen, Germany
A steam-powered bunnytron
A stegosaurus, escaped from stegosaurusfindsrobot
A stony meteorite
A street map of the city of Anaheim
A sub-atomic particle 
A sudden burst of maniaical cackling 
A team of Arctic explorers 
A technical university in Australia
A tetradrachm dated "42 B.C.
A threadbare tweed suit
A tiny robot 
A tiny velvet pouch
A toenail? 
A toilet bowl 
A ton of feathers
A toupee
A toy zeppelin
A traffic signal. It appears to have been recently vandalized
A train of thought chugs through here
A trash compactor, compacting away
A travel-sized cyclotron
A tree with some jelly nailed to it
A tube of heat sink grease
A tube of toothpaste.
A tube of white lithium grease. 
A twist of lemon
A vacuum cleaner, apparently exploded 
A vanilla pudding pop
A vase full of artificial flowers stuck to the floor 
A waffle iron, still hot 
A warranted genuine Snark
A waterlogged grand piano
A willing, ripe tomato 
A wireframe model of a hot dog 
A wondrous and intricate golden amulet 
A zorkmid coin
Air
Alien underwear
An Internet chain letter
An abandoned used-car lot
An albatross, around its own neck
An aromatherapy candle burns with healing light
An assortment of highly-nutritious vegetables
An atomic vector plotter
An authentic 1953 veeblefetzer, sadly in need of adjustment
An autographed copy of the works of Anonymous
An automated robot-disdainer
An automated robot-doubter
An automated robot-hater. 
An automated robot-liker
An electric engraving pencil
An electric fan lying on its side 
An eminently forgettable zahir
An empty Altoids tin
An empty coaxial cable spool
An empty shopping bag. Paper or plastic
An erroneous proof of the Goldbach Conjecture
An expired transistor
An historical marker
An ice cube
An iron meteorite
An obvious metaphor for Sysiphisian futility
An old bootable business card, unfortunately cracked down the middle
An old pattern is here going on and on
An old rusty revolver
An ordinary bust of Beethoven... but why is it painted green
An overflowing bit bucket
An overturned bottle of rainbow-colored ink
An underwater avocado
An unlicensed nuclear accelerator
An unripe orange
Another rabbit? 
Bars of lard, stacked a mile high
Beef stew
Biscuits
Bits of red construction paper are scattered all about
Blod
Brass tacks
Bright copper kettles
Bronzed baby shoes
Butane!!
Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Color, Phosphoric Acid, Flavors
This isn't a pipe
Chewing gum and baling wire
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously here
Could it be... a big ugly bowling trophy
Diogenes 
Dirty socks
Empty jewelboxes 
Five pounds of flax
Twigs
Haphazard stacks of white uppercase letters
Heart of Darkness brand pistachio nuts
Another synthetic a posteriori
Hydraulic fluid and jagged metal bits 
Insane laughter issues from this vibrating shipping crate
It is a cloud shaped like an ox
It is a marzipan dreadnought that appears to have melted and stuck
It is a set of wind-up chatter teeth
It is an ancient mariner, and he stoppeth one of three
It seems to be a copy of "A Tail of Two Cities"
It's "War and Peace" (unabridged, very small print)
It's 1000 secrets the government doesn't want you to know
It's Babe Flathead's favorite bat
It's Bach's Mass in B-minor
It's Brian Kernighan
It's Death
It's Dennis Ritchie
It's Grundle, the Green Dragon
It's Jesse James's severed hand and it's still moving
It's KITT, the talking car
It's Lucy Ricardo.
It's Mary Poppins
It's Professor Feedlebom
It's Richard Nixon's nose
It's Uncle Doctor Hurkamur
It's a "HOME ALONE 2: Lost in New York" novelty cup
It's a Bergenholm drive
It's a Cat 5 cable
It's a Dvorak keyboard
It's a Franklin Ebookman
It's a Java applet
It's a Linux install CD
It's a MITS Altair 8800
It's a NetBSD install CD
It's a Quaker Oatmeal tube, converted into a drum
It's a U.S. president
It's a banana! 
It's a battery-powered brass lantern
It's a big block of ice. Something seems to be frozen inside it
It's a big smoking fish
It's a black hole. 
It's a blob of blue goo
It's a blob of grey goo
It's a blob of red goo
It's a bottle of nail polish remover
It's a box of lox
It's a box of pinball machine parts
It's a bucket of water
It's a bug
It's a cardboard box full of 8-track tapes
It's a cat
It's a charcoal briquette, smoking away
It's a child's pull-toy
It's a clue
It's a concatenation of circumstances
It's a continental breakfast
It's a copy editor, reading aloud from the Associated Press Stylebook
It's a copy of "Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
It's a dark, amphorous blob of matter
It's a fleet of mothballs
It's a fly on the wall.
It's a fossil trilobite
It's a fragment of an old Russian spacecraft
It's a free Dmitry Sklyarov
It's a free Jon Johansen
It's a funky beat
It's a groat coated with pocket fluff
It's a grue 
It's a gun of some sort
It's a hanging chad
It's a hologram of a crashed helicopter
It's a hundred-dollar bill
It's a hyperkinetic rabbity thing
It's a large pile of crumpled notepaper
It's a left-handed smoke shifter
It's a limbo bar
It's a list of the zeroes of the Riemann zeta function
It's a merry-go-round (broken down)
It's a mighty zombie talking about some love and prosperity
It's a model of a catamaran
It's a moment of silence
It's a mousetrap, baited with soap
It's a nameless MSX computer from Japan
It's a nasty knife
It's a perpetual immobility machine
It's a pigeon with a TCP/IP packet duct-taped to its leg
It's a pile of wine corks
It's a pool with a straw in it
It's a portable hole. A sign reads: "Closed for the winter"
It's a prosthetic wheel, bent out of shape
It's a rapidly oscillating function
It's a recursive recursive recursive recursive recursive..
It's a red staple-remover
It's a red stapler
It's a rhyton. Right on
It's a rim shot. Ba-da-boom
It's a roll of industrial-strength copper wire
It's a rotating potato
It's a rotten old shoe
It's a rousing rendition of "O Canada."
It's a segmentation fault. 
It's a sleeping lion
It's a solitary vacuum tube
It's a spade
It's a squad of Keystone Kops
It's a square
It's a steaming bowl of homemade gnocci
It's a stone, unturned
It's a stupid mask, fashioned after a beagle
It's a symbol. You see in it a model for all symbols everywhere
It's a synthetic a priori truth! Immanuel would be so pleased
It's a tape of '70s rock. All original hits! All original artists
It's a tribute to fishnet stockings
It's a typewriter, covered in dust
It's a universal Turing machine constructed from LEGO blocks
It's a wallet full of blank credit cards
It's a week-old baloney sandwich
It's a whirly thing of some sort
It's a zen simulation, trapped within an ASCII character
It's an altar to the horse god
It's an argon-filled vault
It's an elongated brown sack, smelling of hot peppers
It's an elvish sword of great antiquity
It's an external dependency
It's an incomplet
It's an inverted billiard ball
It's an old Duke Ellington record
It's an unknown area code
It's another robot, more advanced in design than you but strangely immobile
It's either a mirror, or another robot
It's evidence
It's just an object
It's more money than you'll ever need
It's nothing but a corrupted floppy. 
It's nothing in particular
It's part of a complete breakfast
It's probably nothing
It's scenery for "Waiting for Godot"
It's skeuomorphism. 
It's something fizzy
It's the <blink> tag
It's the ASCII Floating Head of Seth David Schoen
It's the Brass Nodes of the Universe
It's the Capable Prune
It's the Donation of Constantine
It's the Golden Banana of Discord
It's the Maltese Falcon
It's the Queen of Hearts! 
It's the Super Bass-O-Matic '76! 
It's the Tiki Room
It's the Will Rogers Highway.
It's the astounding meta-object
It's the classification of all finite simple groups
It's the constellation Pisces
It's the cork to someone's lunch
It's the crusty exoskeleton of an arthropod
It's the horizon. 
It's the instruction manual for a previous version of this game
It's the local draft board
It's the mark of the beast
It's the missing chapter to "A Clockwork Orange"
It's the proverbial wet blanket
It's the set of uninteresting natural numbers
It's the shock of recognition
It's the shortest distance between two points
It's the triangle leg adjacent to an angle divided by the leg opposite it
It's the whites of their eyes
It's the wrong number
It's this message, nothing more
It's wholesale, direct to you
Jacket fluff
Just a big brick wall
Just a box of backscratchers
Just a cage of white mice
Just a moldy loaf of bread
Just a monitor with the blue element burnt out
Just a pincushion
Just an autographed copy of the Kama Sutra
Just some glop of some sort
Just some old play by a Czech playwright
Just some rusted lug nuts and an ancient hub cap
Just some spite
Just some stuff
Just some swamp gas
Just the empty husk of a locust
Just the usual gang of idiots
Lentil loaf
Long lost needle nose pliers
It's the Crudmobile
Exclamation points
Lysine, an essential amino acid
More grist for the mill
Ne'er but a potted plant
Nothing but some scribbles in crayon
ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CARPET FIBERS!!!!
One liter of fuming nitric acid
One of the few remaining discos
Paul Moyer's necktie
Pieces of broken clay pigeons are scattered all about
Plenty of nothing
Pumpkin pie spice
Rene Descarte is whistling a happy tune here
Seargent Duffy is here
Seven 1/4" screws and a piece of plastic
Several meters of Cat 5 cable
Slack
Snacky things
Some coconut crabs are milling about here
Some sort of electronic handheld game from the 1970s
A cheap ballpoint pen 
An expensive fountain pen 
Someone's identity disk lies 
Something borrowed, something blue
Stimutacs
Sutro Tower 
Talcum powder
Tea and/or crumpets
Ten yards of avocado-green shag carpet
Just a charred human corpse
Just an old tin can
The Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998
The Inform Designer's Manual (4th edition)
The Monolith of Spam 
The United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit
The World's Biggest Matzoh Ball
A boom box 
The intermission from a 1930s silent movie
The ionosphere 
The letters O and R
The man page for the UNIX 'find' command
The object that pushes back at you
The pants that Curly died in
The rusted gates of an abandoned bemusement park
The spectre of Sherlock Holmes 
There are many coins here
There is a small mailbox 
There is no tea here
There's nothing here; it's just an optical illusion
There's something behind you
These aren't ordinary beans. They're magic beans
This TRS-80 III is eerily silent
This appears to be a rather large stack of trashy romance novels
This appears to be a statue of Perseus
This bouncy castle is filled with helium
This corroded robot is clutching a mitten
This drawer is full of dried out rubber stoppers
This grain elevator towers high above you
This invisible box contains a pantomime horse
This is a Lagrange point
This is a disaster area
This is a remote control
This is a tasty-looking banana creme pie
This is a television
This is an anagram
This is only a test of the Emergency Broadcast System
This is the forest primeval
This is the world-famous Chain of Jockstraps
This isn't the item you're looking for
This jar of pickles expired in 1957
This jukebox has nothing but Cliff Richards albums in it
This looks like Bradley's "Appearance and Reality", but it's really not
This looks like a skateboarding arcade video game
This looks like an umbrella turned inside out
This looks remarkably like last Tuesday
This map is not the territory
This might be the fountain of youth
This object is like an analogy
This particular monstrosity appears to be ENIAC
This peg-leg is stuck in a knothole
This seems to be junk mail addressed to the finder of the Eye of Larn
This subwoofer was blown out in 1974
This thing appears to be an ancient Roman breastplate
This tiny barbecue is spotlessly clean
This toaster strudel is riddled with bullet holes
This tomography is like, hella axial, man
This vending machine dispenses only coffee grounds
This was no boating accident
Three half-pennies and a wooden nickel
Three lizards 
Three mismatched gloves
Tweeting birds
Two crepes, two crepes in a box
Two magnets cling to each other in the darkness
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Vitriol
Vladimir Lenin's casket 
A bright shiny penny
A random assortment of dots and dashes
An Atari 2600 game cartridge with no label
A marble in the oatmeal
Dried mango slices
A rhinestone-studded dog collar, but no dog
A snowflake 
A digital signature
An enormous pile of socks
A black screen filled with colorful ASCII characters
A precautionary measure
A speed bump
The Gingerbread Man
the America Online disk graveyard
Existential dread
Your pal Floyd 
Your permanent record
