# gome — sleep

# My relationship with sleep

29 Mar 2023, 10:30 PM

I’m trying to write a short post today because I want to get back on an earlier sleep schedule. If you look at my latest posts, you’ll notice I’ve been tending to get them done pretty late most days. This means I end up staying up pretty late getting it done, and sometimes even later than that. So I thought sleep would be a good topic to write about.

Normally I’ve been pretty sensitive to sleep. I can’t go more than a few days getting less than eight hours without starting to feel really awful. Going to bed late and still getting eight hours isn’t enough for me, either. I do my best thinking & feeling when I get to sleep early and rise early. At heart, I am a morning person.

I have this concept of “mental breath”, which is kind of the way I think about a healthy mental state. When I have enough mental breath, I’m calm, have an easy time focusing, and my mood is generally good. There’s a feeling of lightness and easy expansion. Not getting enough sleep reduces my mental breath. I feel kind of “set upon”, like something is gripping my mind, and I’m distractible, irritable or muted in mood, and twitchy.

When I get even less sleep, there’s this bad feeling right in the middle of my chest when I wake up, like it’s sinking in. It makes me feel like crying. Usually once I get moving and get in the sun, I can manage until the end of the day, but I feel distinctly sub-par throughout the day.

Given that sleep is so important for me to feel good, and given that I like trying to feel good, I have learned to make more of a priority for it than I used to. I wouldn’t say I’m perfect at my sleep habits, but I seem to always be improving, little by little.

Sometimes, like recently, I’ve been okay with letting the good habits go for a bit, because I get busy or have a reason to stay up later (we had family visiting last week). But I’m able to get back around to early bedtimes eventually, and I feel great when I do.

Is your sleep schedule regular or irregular? Does getting less sleep affect your “mental breath”? Did you sleep well last night? Let me know your thoughts at my Ctrl-C email: `gome ​@ ​ctrl-c.club`.