52 lines
2.9 KiB
HTML
52 lines
2.9 KiB
HTML
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<title>gome — disagreeing</title>
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<a href='..'>back to gomepage</a>—<a href='.'>journal</a>
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<h1 id='title'>Disagreeing with friends</h1>
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<time datetime='Thu, 2 Feb 2023 23:30:00 CST'>2 Feb 2023, 11:30 PM</time>
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<p>
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I had a roomate in college one year who I would describe as disagreeable.
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They would often disagree with me about fairly trivial things, and then we would end up arguing.
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Strangely enough, I look back fondly on our arguing.
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Since we were arguing about trivial things, it soon became clear we were doing it more for entertainment than for any high stakes.
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</p><p>
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All this arguing also had a great secondary effect: it increased our confidence speaking our mind with each other.
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Normal roomate disagreements were easy to handle and resolve amicably, because we knew it was safe for us to disagree.
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In other roomate situations, I’ve sometimes gotten stuck behind a shield of politeness, which makes it hard to discuss touchy subjects for fear of disturbing the peace.
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</p><p>
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I’ve noticed a similar pattern with other friends of mine.
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In general, I find it easier to get close with people I have some significant difference in beliefs with.
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To me, the more important quality in a friend isn’t what they specifically believe, but their openness to other points of view and their ability to handle disagreements well.
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Some points are easier to make in chart form, so check it out:
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</p>
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<img src='img/friend_chart.webp' width='330' height='280' />
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<p>
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With those who have different beliefs than me, disagreements are naturally more likely to occur, so I can sooner discover how open-minded someone is.
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Once we’ve established the trust that we can disagree and still get along, I feel like I can reveal more of myself to a friend.
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So it’s precisely those sites of disagreement where we build trust that our friendship can transcend our differences.
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</p><p>
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Do you disagree with your friends?
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Are your friends open-minded?
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Do you like to argue a bit for fun?
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Let me know your thoughts at my Ctrl-C email: <code>gome<span style='user-select: none;'> ​</span>@<span style='user-select: none;'> ​</span>ctrl-c.club</code>.
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