HAI 1.4
    CAN HAS STDIO?
    I HAS A file
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "read.dat" AN YR "r" MKAY
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "write.dat" AN YR "w" MKAY
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "write.dat" AN YR "a" MKAY
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "write.dat" AN YR "r+" MKAY
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "write.dat" AN YR "w+" MKAY
    file R I IZ STDIO'Z FOPENIN YR "write.dat" AN YR "a+" MKAY
KTHXBYE