backup

gopher/SNCF68B/06-Mannerheim.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
+I'm here! The flat is just mass, so big. I picked the score bed
+which is twice the size of mum's and it shakes too. You clack the
+wall and it shakes and shakes for minutes. Hah! Why even? It's
+just French as damn.
+
+Without the girls everything is quiet-like so I can hear the
+shakes and just lie in it till I skid out.
+
+Ick. Ezri just tried my pad, but she can sweat it. If she sides
+with traitors she can just.
+
+Neverwise that guz. I'm fab ruggd Mannerheim ready and off to see
+it all. There's a party house with old sportsballs the next pod
+down and I can smell the tar-bones from here, sweet damn. My mouth
+is gushing. Oh, that means I'm really hungry and the smell is
+good. Once I'm stoked up tight I'm skidding up all the way.
+{{Surface adventures for a lifetime}} they say. My tram isn't
+ruggd for it, but the rents aren't much. 'Sidewise, the ruggd
+trams don't come in red like my booboo. She's razzy. I call her
+boo, but I'm still on about the name. One lun it'll come.
+
+The pad face has status glows above that look like brows. 'makes
+the whole face look like a person-face! It's a total squee,
+earnest. Mum didn't go in for the beat subs, so I just have what
+I keep on my pad, but it's still great. I've got most everything
+already and it's pretty much Aims M. and Olla or reps agains
+anywise. They're score razzy bodies. I've got their book on my pad
+too. Olla is a poet and the musicwriter. Aims M. helps wee bits on
+bit, but mostly she's beats and vocsounds. Love her still.
+
+Last year at Sundavell Aims M. and Olla played beats with the orig
+classy Radish Slaw (cept the drummer who passed in that tram
+crash). Aims M. did runs and ate that up so vibe. I have it on my
+pad and just put it up. Total wicks guz that, but it's all I got.
+I didn't skid but I wish hard it was truth. The show didn't save
+past live, so it's ephemerial. You know?
+
+Ezri's da sent her and her bro (who doesn't even get deep into
+them). Her da is flush so they do whatever. I told her she should
+drag me out, but her da had none of it. Ezri said they hit some
+classy tracks which they never, ever do cause Olla says {{the old
+you is dead each day}} which is damn truth. Worst is Erzi didn't
+know which cause she's shit and not deep into them like your Emmi
+here. I just suss they played the Canticles suite! I can feel it
+bonewise. Tragic as damn.

gopher/Trobairitz/parting-the-veil.txt

@@ -16,6 +16,8 @@ leaving that industrious city behind for respite in the
 picturesque town of Ausix. More importantly, she was going to see
 and old friend.
 
+                              #
+
 The late morning air was warm despite the spray of salt water. The
 ferry inched along toward the harbor against a determined wind,
 forcing her to squint at the wooden homes peeking through the
@@ -351,6 +353,13 @@ were best friends as children, but what if their lives were too
 different now? She pushed it away and watched the Ausentia
 mountains creep closer bit by bit.
 
+Edit: check for pacing, beats, and reference the coke in decisions
+to try the gambling. Make sure this still has the right feel for
+Ausix. Was fear the right reaction when she got in over her head?
+Did she go far enough to realize that it was her own doing and
+bullheadedness not letting her give up?
+
+                              #
 
 Sinda hesitated at the door and took a deep breath. It's just
 Borzin. Things can't be that different.
@@ -359,9 +368,12 @@ Borzin. Things can't be that different.
 
 - Event: Sinda finds Borzin in the cottage and friendship is
   rekindled.
-- Function: Introduces Borzin and his "cheater" mentality.
-  Establishes the long friendship is still strong.
-- Beginning: Finds Borzin already at the cottage.
+- Function: Introduces Borzin and shows him as tethered to modern
+  life, popularity, and importance. Despite this, establish that
+  he is still her friend and wants this adventure to work.
+- Beginning: Finds Borzin already at the cottage, talking on the
+  phone with his office, which is still reaching out for his help
+  despite the vacation. He's distracted and anxious and brusque.
 - Middle:
 - End: Talking late into the night.
 - Pulse: A nervous anticipation. Will they still be friends?
@@ -439,7 +451,6 @@ dimensionality shifts. Have fun with it.
 ***
 
 
-
 ***
 
 - Event: