87 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
87 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Message Incoming...
|
||
|
||
Source Melchizedek.0294
|
||
Exiting Sol
|
||
Ascension 00h 25m 45.07036s
|
||
Declination –77° 15′ 15.2860″
|
||
Distance 0.01ly
|
||
Equinox J2000.0 SOL
|
||
Year 2183, QEC adjusted
|
||
|
||
[Autotranslator enabled...]
|
||
[Personal Log Entry]
|
||
Jerome Somerset Pasani, Warrant Master
|
||
:::
|
||
Hey,
|
||
|
||
I know you said not to write, but really, did you honestly believe
|
||
that was an option? Look, I know where we left things and as we
|
||
both know there's no going back now. I've literally ran away from
|
||
us as much as is humanly possible.
|
||
|
||
I'm sorry. I really am.
|
||
|
||
I've treated you badly with all this back and forth. Will he, will
|
||
they? And you deserve better. You deserve a commitment and someone
|
||
who can be there, all the way there. I wanted to be that person.
|
||
I tried, in my admittedly shitty way.
|
||
|
||
None of it was fake. I know you worry about that sometimes. Was
|
||
I doing something else behind your back? Is that why... well no.
|
||
I wasn't. I'm a rotten enough person already, I don't want you
|
||
thinking that.
|
||
|
||
I love you. I can see your face right now and the eye rolling and
|
||
the huff. I know it doesn't matter anymore, Sabrina. I know
|
||
nothing I say can take back our time and give us another chance.
|
||
There is no chance anymore. I'm strapped to the back of a rocket
|
||
shooting to the stars, or close enough. This is a one way trip.
|
||
|
||
What's the point? You asked me that last time I saw you and
|
||
I tried to explain, but I screwed it all up. What's the point of
|
||
us you meant, didn't you? What's the point of love between people
|
||
if it can't be? What's the point of the time we had together when
|
||
there's no tomorrow, only yesterdays. But damnit, there is
|
||
a point. I'm not measuring it like some fucking Seriph with
|
||
scales. It's not you vs the universe, even thought that's exactly
|
||
what it looks like. I'm meant to do something. I feel it in here.
|
||
I'm actually hitting my chest right now. You can't see that, but
|
||
I think I did it too hard and now it's sore. Great. That's right
|
||
where the harness sits too.
|
||
|
||
Look, if I had known years ago when we first met that I needed to
|
||
go off into space to throw my life away on some crazy mission to
|
||
bring life to the galaxy would I have shut up and not talked to
|
||
you? No. I love you, Sabrina. Just because I don't get to be with
|
||
you forever doesn't change that. Just because we only had a few
|
||
moments in time doesn't change love. Think of all those loving
|
||
couples who lose their lives in trivial, stupid ways. Their love
|
||
isn't less because of time. Time has its grips in all of us and
|
||
all of our loves are snuffed out by it in the end. And that
|
||
doesn't matter one bit.
|
||
|
||
You're mad and I can't blame you. I won't try to stop that. If
|
||
time is good for anything, that love killing beast, it's good for
|
||
cooling off anger. One day you'll look back on our time and smile,
|
||
like I'm trying to do right now. That's all I have now here.
|
||
There's 44 of us on this box and a love-life isn't in the future
|
||
cards. My love happened. I got to see it start to finish and
|
||
I treasure it. I treasure every single stupid moment, even the
|
||
ones where I was too dumb to see how amazing you were at the time.
|
||
I will miss the cinemas and the walks and sleeping in on the
|
||
weekends. I will certainly miss the long nights. It's all a gold
|
||
mine of memories now and you will forever be my love.
|
||
|
||
I won't send this now. You're angry, too angry. I don't want you
|
||
to delete it before you read it. God that would hurt even to think
|
||
it. I'll set this aside to send you soon, maybe in a dozen years.
|
||
That'll be a blink or two for me in cryo, I think. The math never
|
||
works out in my head.
|
||
|
||
I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't forget me, but live your life.
|
||
Be happy. We all want happiness for the people we love. You've had
|
||
enough of the other parts, you deserve some happy.
|
||
|
||
All my love, forever. Jerome.
|
||
.
|